Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Meet the New Secretary of Homeland Security

President Bush held an emergency press conference to announce that Secretary of Homeland Security, Michael Chertoff, will be stepping down from his position at the end of this month. Bush stated that Chertoff is leaving the administration to spend more time with his family. Many speculate that his departure is due to Katrina-fatigue.

Not wasting any time, Bush also announced in the same press conference that he will nominate Osama Bin Laden to replace Chertoff as Secretary of Homeland Security.

Bush explained his choice by saying, "Osama knows where the holes are in our national security, so I believe he is the best man to plug them."

Bush also told the press that he could not find any other American willing to do the job. Bin Laden has a good working relationship with the United Arab Emerites' company that is expected to run America's ports. The ports represent a vulnerable point in US national security.

Bush's pick alarmed and surprised Democrats and many in his own party who criticized Bin Laden's nomination.

Bush responded to his critics by stating, "This is the best choice for national security. I will veto any senator or congressman that disagrees with me right out of office."

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