[Editor's note: Sporadic Thoughts is a weekly column on the irreverent nature of young gay life in DC posted at some point every weekend by PoliBoi Graham.]
I have a coworker who is always trying to convince me to date guys that are different than the type that I normally pursue. Whenever I come across an atypical potential date, my coworker is usually the first to know. Mostly I enjoy the friendly prodding he gives me to go to the edge and actually go on a date with the atypicals. I never actually go off the edge, though.
The typicals in my life are not the most butch dudes on the planet and they almost always have a left-leaning bent to their politics. I simply cannot date anyone who thinks Ayn Rand is God. Dating in Washington, DC is so damn political. And it also does not help that I was only one class shy of getting my minor in ethics.
I suppose it could be fun to be the James Carville and Mary Matlin of the gay political dating scene. I imagine that their sex is pretty hot. Normally when I have an argument with a lover, I like to conclude it with a steamy romp in the sack. Though, I am not sure that argumentative sex would be very fulfilling after a while. It could become a bit too routine. I think it is considered an abusive relationship when the only sex you have is make-up sex.
I came to Washington, DC because I love politics, but I did not know it would make dating so complicated. Dating is already hard enough. I like to hope, for everyone else’s sake, that the grass is indeed greener on the other side. Perhaps in cities that are not so politically charged, people with differing ideologies can actually date without trying to traverse a bitter partisan divide. In other cities I am sure it is nice not to have to play pretend congressmen on a date.
Even at the clubs in DC you cannot make out with a guy you just met on the dance floor without questions of politics arising (among other things). Just the other night I had a passionate debate with a Kerry supporter regarding why he was such a terrible candidate for president in 2004. While he disagreed with my position, that did not make the position of his hand on my ass disagreeable.
I have tried to go on dates with people that are not into politics. They were either apathetic or oblivious. The apathetic are at least aware, but dates with the oblivious often lead to prolonged periods of awkward silence. Neither type ever make it to a second date.
While I may complain about the state of affairs of political dating in DC, I am a victim of my own desires. I like people that share my philosophy and thoughts on the world, and the typicals do. I simply cannot bring myself to desire an atypical, and so I am trapped in a box with the typicals.
And that leads me to wonder if the dating scene in Washington is actually not very interesting at all. Reading online dating profiles I notice that many want to date people that share their politics. That does not seem like progress towards defeating the red state/blue state divide in our country. So I guess like the Congress, gay DC dating is forever stuck in a boring and bitter partisan divide.
Log Cabins need not apply.