Thursday, June 29, 2006

Brit: You're No Demi.

Who is she kidding?!

Now everyone just take a deep breath, and remember this interview:

Biden is Hurting His Children

Probably the last thing you want a visual of in your head is your parents having sex. Gross! Senator Joe Biden made that visual a bit more easier for his kids to imagine while commenting on his presidential prospects recently, though:
"I'd rather be at home making love to my wife while my children are asleep."

Please Joe! Don't you realize that people get pictures in their heads when you make comments like that? I am probably not going to be able to have sex for months now, unless I somehow manage to get a hookup with Limbaugh's drug supply.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The View from the Rearview Mirror

Remember the good old days...

Alien Star Train Wreck

Finally ABC has heeded my call and erased Star Jones from The View!

Thank you! After Mork and Mindy and then ALF, I always thought television had provided enough air time to the extraterrestrial life among us.

Unfortunately, it seems we will all need to bear one more hour of this horror show, as Star takes on Larry King tomorrow night. Alien on alien action, apparently...

Big Pimpin' GOP Tax Cut

Republican Senator Charles Grassley of Iowa was expected to force a vote in the Senate Finance Committee on a Pimp Tax for sex workers and the men who sell them. No word yet on how this will affect the intern sex work trade on Capitol Hill, but this certainly is one of the first GOP proposed tax hikes that I can remember in a few years. Finally something got them excited enough to raise "the tax burden".

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

PoliBois NYC Adventure!

The PoliBois arrived at Laguardia in the early evening last Friday, ready to take on NYC!

Upon our arrival we were greeted by a limo that took us to the DNC's Gay and Lesbian Leadership Council's gala at the American Airline's Theatre on Broadway. Unfortunately, we did not see Harry Connick Jr. or other cast members from the Pajama Game. Though, we did make about two famous-for-DC sightings.

Our first sighting was DNC Chair Howard Dean. After we got our nametags at the front table, we stood in line to have our picture taken with Santa HoDe. Next we were greeted during a brief welcoming reception by hot waiters and some much needed wine (that everyone needs after a photo with Howard). Two glasses of wine later, and we struck up a conversation with Paul Smith, the lawyer who made gay sodomy legal throughout the land. He was a nice guy, and didn't even seem to mind when we introduced him as the guy who made taking it up the ass legal! (And sad to say, after a few glasses of wine that is exactly how I introduced him to our friends.)

Post-reception, we made our way a few floors up to the main event and our dining table. The first thing we noticed was that our table was Cumming all over.

Like a drag queen on crack, our table included glittery stars, a Cyndi Lauper CD, a centerpiece consisting of high heel shoes and the entire Cumming product line. It was by far one of the gayest tables we had ever seen. We don't even think Rick Santorum could imagine the gay hell we had encountered.

Aside from the ultra-gay accessories, we also noticed something very curious on our table. The menu for the night was placed in a flip-flop.

Like a feminist trying to reclaim the word bitch, someone thought it was a good fundraising pitch to remind everyone of how successful we were in 2004.

Once we got over the whole table thing, the speeches began. Dean gave a standard stump. Nothing too interesting. He described his misstatement about gay marriage on the 700 Club. The gays applauded him being an absolute screw-up as a leader and moved on. When he was done speaking, the gays then peppered him with questions about the DNC's commitment to gay Ameri...Oh, I kid. There was one question about gays and religion and the rest were about gays trying to look like they have many important things on their minds aside from their basic civil rights.

Then there were more speeches, cosmos, wine and dinner... Oh, and more hot waiters!

One of the last speeches came from Barney Frank.

Whether or not you believe everything you hear about Barney (and we have heard many things-"He's an asshole"..."Saw him in the shower at Results Gym and his little guy is really..." errrr...), the man gave a really good speech. He even assured us that, unlike HoDe in his speech, it would be inappropriate for him to tell us that he's got our back. Phew!

The speeches concluded and we all kept drinking. We were told to stick around for a special meet-and-greet with Cyndi and Alan. About 2 hours later they managed to arrive (after the piano and everyone else left). We met-and-greeted, got an autograph and into a bit of a spat with Alan's entourage of one. He was a bitch.

Finally it was time for our big limo ride back to DC. We got home at 5 AM and slept a good long time...

The End.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Metro Opens Doors Floodgates

Anyone who saw the news and ventured outside in Washington, DC this morning either really needed to get to work or was really stupid. I was stupid and missed the news and tried to get to work. And I was confronted with a hellish commute.

Even though I had the Today Show on in the morning, somehow I missed that God was pissed at DC and flooded it like hell the night before. Those floods made getting to work a f'ed-up dirty mess (and I thought that phrase could only be used to describe my sex life). One commuter's post on Craigslist really summed up the whole experience quite nicely:
Flash forward to seven fuckin' fifty eight in the a-hem and I'm standing outside of the Smithsonian with about two and a half thousand angry black women who, just like me, were already an hour late to work. I didn't have to cuss, kick, yell and scream because them scary ass women did it for me. Common sense would have shuttle buses lined up around the block. Unfortunately, common sense ain't so common, especially to the numb-nutted fuckwits that are employed by the WMATA.

I had a similar experience. My Metro ride to work was cut short two stops before the one I usually get off at to get to work. While there should have been a shuttle bus above ground to take me to my usual spot, when I made it to ground level I found absolute chaos. No one was directing people and I had no idea what bus to get on. I eventually walked an half-hour to work, arriving sweaty and feeling gross.

When I got to work I checked out WaPo online to find out what the hell was going on. While I perused the site I noticed that the interim GM of WMATA was going to be doing an online Q&A later in the afternoon. When the time came around for the Q&A, I submitted my question and it actually got an answer:
Washington, D.C.: After my experience this morning on Metro, I am concerned about how my experience will be if there is an attack on the city or some larger natural disturbance.

When I got off the Metro at Smithsonian for the shuttle bus that was supposed to take me to McPherson Square, I experienced absolute chaos. There were multiple buses and no one was there directing people. People were frustrated and extremely angry. Like many, I gave up on the "shuttle bus" and ended up walking to work. Is this Metro's usual response to these situations?

Dan Tangherlini: This wasn't a usual situation! But I appreciate your criticism, I have heard a number of ideas about how we can do this better and I will work with our team to incorporate them into our next response.

So there you have it folks! Metro is prepared for everything but unusual situations.

Well, that certainly makes me feel better.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Sporadic Thoughts: The Acceptable Gay Life?

[Editor's note: Sporadic Thoughts is a weekly column on the irreverent nature of gay life posted every weekend by PoliBoi Graham.]

I may be remembering a bit of historical fiction that exists only in my head, but was there not a time (long, long ago) when being a young gay person on the prowl was actually fun? Now everything has gotten a bit too serious. First dates with people my age have turned into potential trips to Planned Parenthood to discuss family planning, rather than potential trips to turn down the sheets together.

All the youthful hedonistic energy has been sapped out of the young gay dating scene. Someone that sleeps around is no longer a stud, but a slut to be avoided. People I meet for first dates are shocked when I tell them that I hate children and have no intention of having them. I am shocked that they would even bring up the little creatures on a first date. Young gay couples I know are moving in together at a record pace and some are even getting engaged!

Somehow being single has even become a disease. People want to know why you have it and why you cannot get rid of it.

I am single because I choose to be single. Being single is a choice I recently made, as I was myself once caught up in the madness that is still penetrating the minds of my fellow young gay comrades.

For quite a while I jumped from long-term relationship to long-term relationship. I did not do it because I necessarily wanted to, but because I felt I had to. It was not until I wound up with a failed relationship, a shared lease for a one-bedroom apartment and a dog that is the product of it that I realized I did not need to be in a relationship to be happy.

As a young gay person, I have found myself in quite a few bad relationships and I have stayed in them just for the sake of having a relationship. I now find a lot of my friends are doing the same. I am not sure what is leading my friends to make the choices that they make, but I can certainly speculate based on my own experience.

Family pressure is definitely a cause of the relationship-centric personality. As young gay people come out at a brisk pace, many are not avoiding the awkward conversations with their families about their sexuality. However, a tradeoff of this great step towards acceptance is that many young gays are also striving to find that perfect guy or gal to bring home to mom in order to wash away the stereotype she may or may not harbor that all gay people are promiscuous and incapable of settling down.

Another cause is certainly gay culture. No longer is it acceptable to just be young, gay and happy. Now you have to be young, gay, happy and engaged with kids on the way from some far away land.

Shows like Queer as Folk, which was popular among young gays, certainly defined the image of the distinguished and respectable gay. Most of the characters on this now defunct Showtime series were always hopping between relationships. The relationship-centric characters were usually portrayed as the happy ones. The character the audience was supposed to feel bad for was Brian Kinney. He was the perpetually single one who had no need for relationships. I actually think Kinney was the only one of the cast of characters that actually knew what he wanted out of life.

Then there is the political side of gay culture. This side also wants to project a certain image of gay people to the outside world. When the gay community's lobbyists go to bat for certain pieces of legislation, they generally want to talk about the gay families they are seeking to protect rather than the gay singles. The everyday people they send up to Congress from the gay community to speak on its behalf generally are the ones with life-partners and kids. The image that young gay people get from the gay politicos is that gay family life at any cost is more valuable and respected than the life of a bachelor or bachelorette who is not ready to settle.

The image that I want to project is that I am happy with who I am, single or otherwise. The image I want to project is that I am not willing to settle and I am not willing to fall prey to the forces that want me to. I may toe the line between being a slut and having fun, but at least I know I am having a blast. I am free from my own social construct, and now I want to spread the word among my young gay peers.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

...And We're Back!

Oh my! Has it really been a month since we posted. We are such bad bloggers. I was only reminded that this blog exists because people kept sending messages to me on Friendster about it. And since I am a F*ster addict, I am completely loyal to the demands of my fans when they are sent to me via the ultimate online anti-social friend network. Yeah, that's right, Facebook blows. I've also watched Dateline enough to know to stay away from Myspace. Though, that Chris Hansen is dreamy with his sultry voice...

If you want someone to blame for the brief and unexpected departure, look no further than Mary Cheney. After I posted about her with a few expletives the other PoliBoi and I got into a heated argument about foul language on the blog. Well, look who fucking won! (Just kidding. Ignore the "fuck", please. Or else he will beat me.)

Anyway, the PoliBois are back online again. Work is starting to slow down a bit, so that means we can post a lot more. Funny how that equation works, huh? Listen, if you want us to do this full time email us and tell us how you are going to send some cash our way. We would need about $80K for us both to work on this just to cover living expenses and health care. Add on another 10-20K for upgrades to the site, if you so desire.

In any case, tomorrow night we fly up to NYC in style to attend the DNC's gay gala (and I have no idea if that is what they actually call it). We are the guests of a politician and we'll be treated like the queens we are. Be sure to check out our posts after the weekend to find out how things went and who we saw and went to bed with.

That is all for now. Carry on...