Thursday, April 28, 2005

Canada: Dirty American Bastards

Canadians are pissed. And well, as usual, no one really seems to care.

It appears that our neigbors to the north (who dream endlessly about being America as they illegally cross our borders to find work in our migrant farming industry) are pissed that their mounties will be escorting their former Prime Minister Jean Chretien to a gay pride event in Philidelphia this weekend. Chertien, the hottie that he is, demanded the mounties accompany him for fear that his gay fan base will mob him. I hope to get a lock of his hair.

But please, we all know Chertien just has a thing for guys in uniform.

Hot Mountie Action Awaits...

The Ugly One is Gone!

To those of you, like me, who absolutely HATED Constantine on this season's American Idol, you will be happy to know he is gone forever! (...Ok, so he just got kicked off the show, but I hope we never see him again.)

I think this just shows once again how the gays are taking over all aspects of society, even down to the bottom depths of American Idol. I don't care how much the 'girls' liked him, there is NO WAY some raggedy rocker boy with long hair, a scruffy beard and a double chin is making it to the finals!

Just look at our success in the past: Clay Aiken may have only come in second, but that gay guy has a HUGE (term used loosely) career! I just hope Constantine takes that into account the next time his cocky ass in on a stage (even though it will be at Jimmy Bob's Bar Mitzvah.)


Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Jesus Packs a Brown Bag Lunch

Where would we be without Odessa, Texas? For that matter, where would we be without Texas? A hell of a lot further than we are now.

Students in Odessa's high school will soon have the opportunity to take Bible study as an elective for credit. It was not yet clear whether it would be a history or literature class. Just sit back and imagine the test questions:
The Bible Says Homosexuals will:
a) Burn in hell for all eternity
b) Burn quickly, but politely
c) Convert your children into American-hating muslims
d) All of the above

Read more about the separation of chuch and state

Banana Republic Sales Soar

The Webb City School District in Missouri has decided that it will now allow students to wear "gay" t-shirts. Many attribute the change to economic factors after Gap, Inc. complained to the school district that sales were slumping under the district's pervious ban on gay clothing.

On another note, the drama club at the school may now start using its original title "Fashion Club Where the Cute Bois Touch Each Other Inappropriately in the Stage Wings."

Read more about fashion in Misssouri

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Microsoft Goes Soft

After standing erect on their stance of neutrality in the debate over a bill in Washington State that would protect lesbian and gay people from discrimination, Microsoft, the largest employer in Washington, is not going soft on the issue. Or was it soft when it went neutral? When was it ever erect? Gross, Bill Gates has a woody?


Anyway, Microsoft now says it may support a measure to ban discrimination in Washington if it comes up again. Gates, President of Microsoft, never expected the company to face criticism when it withdrew is support of a recent measure to ban discrimination. That measure lost legislative passage by one vote.

Read more about Microsoft's erectile dysfunction
Gates and Reed play with each other

Freaky cartoon influences America

I'll be honest, this freaky little guy is a little scary, and what appears to be another strange gimick by the "leftist freaks" to try to get through to the scary people known as the "general public." But it appears this time it is actually working! A WaPo/ABC news poll found that 66 percent of Americans OPPOSE changing the Senate rules...66%!?! Even if there was a filibuster on this poll they would still win!

The poll also showed diminishing support for Bush's Social Security plan, with a majority (51%) now opposing it and just around 45% in favor of it.

Hmm... maybe the heydey of the Republicans is starting to fade already... maybe next time they'll know you don't fuck with the gays!

The End is Near...

Monday, April 25, 2005

Illegal Sodomy is Hotter Anyway

Let's face it, while we are all for equal rights, etc etc, we are kind of all happy that the Military is not going to make sodomy legal after all.

Listen, hot Military action in porn is hot because it is so taboo and illegal. Once sodomy became legal in all 50 states most porn became so vanilla. Without hot military studs, most of us would live a life in the limp.

So okay, the Military sucks for gays, but a least we got our hot fantasies back. Just think of all the erotic Military fiction we almost just missed out on. Thanks Rummy!


Where the Fuck Were We in August

Apparently while we were out doing drugs, having hardcore orgies, and working the corner for cash, we actually had a readership! Well, since we hardly get comments on our blog, we assumed no one ever read us. So, when we stopped doing what we do, we figured no one would also notice. Apparently though, we did have fans. They are just very quiet...And, we even got press without even knowing it! Damn, and we were having so much fun with the orgies. Sorry Sugar Daddy, maybe later. There's some blogging to be done.


Elton John is Gay???!!!

First the Village People, now this?! Does the homosexual agenda know no bounds.

After years of being an apologist for Eminem, apparently Elton John is gay after all and plans to marry his lover David Furnish. And, it certainly is not for love. John cited tax write-offs as the driving force for the wedding. How romantic Reginald.

Oh, but the romanticism does not stop there. As Elton says: ""There will be no honeymoon. I'm on tour." Oh, I swoon. Where is a man to bring such love into my life?


Phelps bears witness to homoeroticism... and we think he liked it!

Our favoritie homophobe from Kansas, Fred Phelps, was protesting some of those nasty homosexuals (ew..i feel dirty just for typing it!) in Albuquerque when Chris Lucas, a 31-year-old massage therapist who we are going to assume is HOTT, leaned over to a man he had just met and passionately kissed him, just "feet from protestors."

In this blazen - and random - act of homosexuality, Lucas says he felt liberated, while Phelps claimed to have no comment, although it was obvious to many that he suddenly stopped waving his sign and had to sit down... reminds me of those embarassing days in elementary school when you had to carry your books in front of you!

Read more (but be careful, it might turn you on!)

Saturday, April 23, 2005

James Guckert, Self-Loving Advocate

James Guckert, aka "Jeff Gannon," defends himself through an email interview with Advocate Magazine. The interview is published in the May 15th issue of the Advocate. Our favorite part:

Advocate: How do you describe your sexual orientation?

Gannon: I describe it as a personal matter.

Advocate: What do you say to our gay readers who think you're really,
really hot?

Gannon: Thanks for your e-mails and pictures.

Jeff, Jeff, did you get our pictures? C'mon, two liberal twinks and one hot military stud! Oh, I wish we could touch you right now. Truly, Hell on Earth. But of course, all your self-pleasuring with those hot web mirror pics from your fans is a "personal matter." I'd be thankful for "e-mails and pictures" from Scott McClellan too. Must be hard being his prison bitch.


Friday, April 22, 2005

New Pope wants to help YOU!

After the passing of a same-sex marriage bill in the lower house of the Spanish Parliament yesterday(woo!), the Pope today lashed out at the Parliament.

Through his lackie, aka Cardinal, Alfonso Lopes Trujill, he denounced the actions of the Spanish government, saying that "one cannot say that a law is right simply because it is a law." Trujill then asked if this was not discrimination, denying gays the right to marry, to which he responded with a stern "no." Adding that the church DOES NOT discriminate against gays. Riiight.... denying certain citizens rights afforded to other citizens... that's not umm...discrimination is it?

Furthermore, Trujill said the homosexuals are "people who deserve all our love, our support and our aid."

Now ain't that nice?! Mr. Nazi Pope just wants to be our friend and help us out... while discriminating against us, stripping us of our rights and reminding us that we WILL, oh yes... ALL OF YOU WILL... go to hell.

In the words of the great theologist Paris Hilton, "that's hot"

Find out more about how the church can help you!

Pitching a Tent for the Corps

Fascism - - Fascism A system of government marked by centralization of authority under a dictator, stringent socioeconomic controls, suppression of the opposition through terror and censorship, and typically a policy of belligerent nationalism and racism.

Welcome to America. The land of Corporate fascism. Unfortunately the religious right is more in tune with American politics that we would certainly like them to be.

Microsoft Corp., the largest employer in the state of Washington, all but assured yesterday's one-vote legislative defeat of a bill that would have protected LGBT people in Washington from discrimination. The buzz is that Microsoft, which is generally a progressive company, backed out of supporting the LGBT-rights bill after meeting with an anti-gay minister who lives blocks from the company.

Earlier this year, Proctor & Gamble bucked criticism from anti-gay religious groups when it supported a similar LGBT-rights measure in Cincinnati. That measure passed. Religious groups held P&G boycotts, and P&G has recently stopped running ads targeted towards the LGBT population.

Oh to be in America. Land of the free trade, home of the brazen CEO. When it comes to the LGBT-rights movement, whose pocket are we in. Perhaps we got brushed out with the lint.

Viva fascism!


Jim Crow. Is that who I just sprayed my shorts over???!!!

Civil Unions now in Connecticut? How exciting...

Well excuse me if I don't jump up and down in excitement for this half-measure of decency coming from CT legislators. While some gays may jump for joy over the new seperate and UNequal status in CT, I have to question what the fuss and fanfare is all about.

Did I miss something in history class, or didn't we discover during the 1960's Civil Rights Movement that broke down Jim Crow that "seperate but equal" is a flawed phrase and discriminatory practice? Are we so desperate that we are now clamoring to be second-class citizens? Being and accommodating compromiser is less than pathetic.

But maybe I am looking at it all wrong. Or as HRC puts it: "The Human Rights Campaign praised Connecticut legislators for passing a civil union bill that will offer all the state-level rights and benefits of marriage to same-sex couples and their families."

Right...I guess we forgot to mention the part of the legislation that defines marriage as being between one man and one woman.


Senator Brownback, Anti-Gay with Hott Gay Porn Name

Love ya Sammy!

Those who live outside the Beltway may not know it, but the District of Columbia is actually a colony of the United States. While the District has it's own form of elected government, the actual control of the colony lies with members of Congress. The District only has shadow representatives with no votes in Congress. Didn't we dress up as Native Americans and throw tea over boats in response to this type of government?

I recently became a member of the "no taxation without representation" colony of the United States. I am generally happy with life in the colony. The District is very gay friendly. Well, it's as friendly as our non-representatives allow it to be. Yesterday it was widely reported that Senator "Sammy" Brownback, (not a gay porn name), is threatening to withhold money from the District if it accepts same-sex marriage licenses from other states. Brownback, chair of the Senate Appropriations subcommittee on the District and a co-sponsor of the Federal Marriage Amendment, was responding to a report issued by the colony's Attorney General. The Attorney General issued a legal brief that same-sex couples married in other states could file joint tax returns in the colony.

For those of you used to representative government and who may now understandably be feeling a bit perplexed, let me sum this up for you: The District's elected officials issued a gay-friendly and legally sound ruling, non-colony-elected Republican officials from Kansas did not like the ruling, and so if the colony extends the legal rights same-sex couples deserve the people of the District could lose approval for their own budget from King Brownback of Kansas. Mind you, these are the tax dollars of citizens of the colony we are talking about.

But I guess we in the District should not worry, because in the end Republicans always support "state rights." Oh wait, silly me, I forgot...WE ARE A COLONY! I need some tea.