Friday, August 27, 2004
Because you know what, it just makes sense to send a truck around the RNC convention that says "You're Fired." It is just so damn creative and witty. And frankly, it utilizes that angry base of anti-Bush gay rage that is brewing. HELLO!!! GO TO THE VILLAGE AND GIVE THE QUEENS SIGNS!!! Or put drag queens on the bus! DO SOMETHING THAT IS COOL AND INVOLVES OTHERS!!!
The Press Release (it's copied from an email, so deal!):
> From: J Smith <J.Smith@HRC.ORG>> Date: August 27, 2004 11:43:27 AM EDT> To: HRC-GAYPRESS@LISTS.HRC.ORG> Subject: MEDIA ADVISORY: "GEORGE W. BUSH: 'YOU'RE FIRED!'" BILLBOARD > TRUCKS HIT NEW YORK FOR REPUBLICAN CONVENTION>> ________________________________>> MEDIA ADVISORY from the Human Rights Campaign> 1640 Rhode Island Ave., N.W.> Washington, DC 20036-3278> E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org> http://www.hrc.org> _________________________________>> For Immediate Release> Friday, Aug. 27, 2004>> Contact: Steven Fisher> Phone: (202) 216-1547> Cell: (202) 431-7608>> Contact: Mark Shields> Phone: (202) 216-1564> Cell: (202) 716-1637>>> "GEORGE W. BUSH: 'YOU'RE FIRED!'" BILLBOARD TRUCKS> HIT NEW YORK FOR REPUBLICAN CONVENTION>> Human Rights Campaign to Launch Truck Caravan at Tuesday Press> Conference>>
WASHINGTON - Four large billboard trucks with the message "George W. Bush: You're Fired" will troll the streets of Manhattan the week of the Republican National Convention. The Human Rights Campaign, the nation's largest gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender political organization, is sponsoring the trucks to highlight the need to defeat George W. Bush in November. President Bush has been the chief advocate for the discriminatory "Federal Marriage Amendment" that would forever ban critical protections for same-sex couples and their children
What: Press conference launching "George W. Bush: You're Fired" truck caravan with photo opportunity of the trucks to follow.
When: Tuesday, August 31, 2004 - 10:00 a.m.
Where: Warwick Hotel 65 W 54th St. (at Avenue of theAmericas) New York, NY 10019
Who: Cheryl Jacques, President Human Rights Campaign
The Human Rights Campaign is the largest national lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender political organization with members throughout the country. It effectively lobbies Congress, provides campaign support and educates the public to ensure that LGBT Americans can be open, honest and safe at home, at work and in the community.
OOOOO! They will be trolling the streets! That should get the young hip crowd out there. Isn't trolling just what they avoid every Thursday at Apex?
Thursday, August 26, 2004
Reply to: email@example.comDate: 2004-08-26, 2:19AM EDT
I'm looking for somebody who's totally into shaving my hairy ass. I want you to work my big bubble-ass into a rich lather and then shave it as close as possible until it's nice and smooth. Then finish off with rubbing down my newly smoothed butt with some lotion.
While the idea does sound really amazing, what are we going to get out of it? Finish off with lotioning your ass? It sounds like a bikini wax gone horribly wrong. And really, do you really want strangers hacking away at your ass with a razor?
Think these things through people!
Conservatives fear that Santorum would have popped one during the show and it would become apparent that there is not much to pop.
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.orgDate: 2004-08-25, 3:05PM EDTGuys: I wouldn't even take the time to comment on this if it hadn't happened to me twice in the past two weeks, thereby, seriously decreasing my interest in the whole Craigslist hook-up phenomenon. Please Please Please, use your own pic when setting up a "meeting". No, in fact, a picture of a latin guy is not going to automatically pass for you if you happen to be latin yourself. I can tell the difference, mainly, that he's hot and you are not. If you don't want to be rejected to your face, use your own g-d pic. One guy sent me a pic that was so obviously not him. I called him out on it when we met and he had the outright gall to deny it. You aren't fooling anyone! Where are the REAL hot guys on this board?
So folks, that proves it! The Bush campaign has no connection to the Swiftees against Kerry. Or, wait a second...
Television news van antennas were ubiquitous. Police walked the street, asking questions. Inside Annie's, flowers and balloons lined a wall. Staff hugged one another through occasional tears, stopping after the first televised news report of Alstad's murder to drink a toast in his honor.
But WAIT!!! SHOCKING!!! Earlier this year Cheney agreed that there should be a Federal Marriage Amendment.
But WAIT!!! Double-Shocking!!! In the 2000 campaign, Cheney said he believes that gay marriage is a states right issue.
But WAIT Tripple-Shocking!!! Cheney is a flip-flopping liberal elitist from Massachusetts. And frankly, he looks a bit French...
Monday, August 23, 2004
Friday, August 20, 2004
Once again adding to the problem of not being able to tell if men are gay or just european, these two Olympic synchronized divers from Greece are holding each other(and dry humping) while awaiting their results.
They became the first Greeks to win a medal in Athens, and they have definitely also received the PoliBois gold medal of the day... because this picture is just HOTT!
If you still do not know what we are talking about, we found this example on Craig's List. Keep in mind, we love older men. We just want them to act their age and stop being so damn silly:
Are you fit, handsome, top and over 35? Step right up! Cute twinkboy here looking to play with you. Total bottom pussy boy here with an expert mouth and tight smooth hungry hole and they can both be your playthings if you get back to me. I'm 32, buzz cut, handsome, tight smooth twinkie boy body. 6'2, 160, bubble ass, 8 cut cock. Insatiable boy here lookin' for Daddy. Pics to swap.
Ok! First we saw "twinkboy" and thought, CUTE! This guy is looking for a sugar daddy. Then we looked closely and saw this guy was 32???!!! Listen, we are up in our early twenties and are starting to think calling oursleves twinkie is a bit of a fabrication. Please use the term appropriately.
Also, 6'2" 160 LBS is not a "twinkie boy body". And, we doubt you have a "bubble ass."
Aren't you a bit too old to be looking for a daddy? Dude, you're practically my daddy!!!
Today the man who claims to be the lover of Golan Cipel (the man who claims to be straight, even though he had an affair with the Gov. and another lover also) was arrested for impersonating an FBI agent, as well as CIA agent, and telling people that the Sat. Dish on his roof was being used for CIA communications.
Can't we just get rid of New Jersey and find somewhere else for NYC to dump their trash?
and a note to McGreevey: just because you are gay now...does NOT mean you have to create D-R-A-M-A! Leave that to us professional queens. thanks.
Time to move this fight elsewhere...and who really listens to people in Washington anyway?(stupid west coast)
Read the article...
One may ask...what are the Bushes doing fraternizing with gays? Erwin waxes their precious little brows! And who wouldn't want to see their brow-waxer happily married?
It's Friday, and it is time to start posting on Craig's list looking for that after work hook-up. We thought we would give you some help by giving you a shot of Michael Phelp's bulge. Look away if your boss is near by. Mr. Happy might choose to make an appearance early if you look too long. This should simply serve as your motivation. Now start posting!
Oh, the ever self-indulgent Chris Crain must be so proud of his own work now seen daily.
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Read More...(365gay.com now)
In an article today in South Florida's Sun-Sentinel we found this alarming paragraph.
"Stork's staff said he was suffering from fatigue but emphasized that the gay former mayor of Wilton Manors was HIV negative."
Well... it is good to know that the media has made it clear that A) Jim Stork is GAY...OMG!!! the gays are running for congress!!! AHHHH!!! and B) all gay men are HIV positive.
thanks for clearing that up for us!
Read the entire piece of bigotry and ignorance...
It is reported that Timberlake may soon be asking bois to touch his timber. It seems Miss Diaz just has that effect on bois. Could she date Mikey Phelps next?
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
...experts tell me, looks like michael phelps has a larger than average cock size, any comments?
and the speculation:
I wonder if Michael Phelps didn't beat Mark Spitz record because he was NOT wearing a BRIEF? Those skin suits are really silly looking. Actually certain one's look FEM. Even my female friend made that statement.
That Mark Spitz who won the olympics in 72 is still a good looking for an older guy. I like how he has a low forehead like a caveman. :)
Yes, Cavemen are the new pink and HOT!
And this irrelevant desparate cry for help we just had to post:
Since Iv bene posting on the board lotsa guys wanted to see pics of me, well, first of all I cant send pics because everytime someone takes pics of me smoke comes out of there cameras, second Il probably be banned from the board for this, but eventually someone will find out anyway and so here goes. First of all Im totally bald, and have a kind of a lump on the right side of my skull that looks like a radio or tv antenne thats probably why everybody is allways asking me if I broadcast FM or AM. My left ear is lower then my right ear.All my touths are gone except for the big front ones that makes me look like a beaver.(Or bugs bunny ) My right arm is longer then my left one.And from some reason I have two big toes on my left foot. And have only 4 toes on both feet, (like the Simpson family) My legs are so crooked that I walk like a penquin, like the one in the batman comics. Wene I walk my knees sqeeks that make a sound like someone was rubbing his finger nail on a blackboard. But beung like this has its compensations Iv even bene offered to appear on a film as Quasimodo the hunchback of Notre Dame. What is strang is that wene I look in a mirror I find myself rather attractive I wonder why no one aggrees with me. I wear a sz. 51 speedo and think I look rather good in them, WOULD YOU.....
OH! Does fun with speedos ever START?
AND for our DC Readers...
Speedo Fun in D.C. This Weekend
8/18/2004Time: 8:11:54 AMRemote Name: 126.96.36.199
Hey guys. Anybody up for some speedo fun in/near Washington, D.C. this weekend. Would be good to suit up and lay out, watch the Olympic hotties, or get a little crazy. Good looking, clean cut, sane guy here looking for speedo buds to hang with ...
See, this is why we have a rule: Never Date Closet Cases. This is why we also have a new rule: Never Get Involved in a Love Triange with 2 Closet Cases. Though, the 3some would probably really hot!
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
There we are, healing Mikey's inner-thigh after a tough race.
We just got a call from our Boifriend, Mikey Phelps, that he won his second gold medal at the Olympics. Way to go Mikey!!!
On another note, Jenna Bush had better keep her drunken paws to herself. Papers have reported that she has been stalking Mikey. This boi is ours Jenna! So, stop making the moves on Mikey. He needs to concentrate on swimming (and us).
USA Today Opinion (See you in the showers gay boi!)
McGreevey Response (My ding-dong is so much bigger, bitch!)
For all of the complaining about gays being refused the right to marry, it is
shocking that the bonds of matrimony that McGreevey broke are of so little
consequence to gay activists that they ignore them in their press releases and
act as if the adulterous affair between McGreevey and Cipel is simply collateral
damage in the coming-out process.
--gay columnist, Steve Yuhas
Let's be clear, Steve Yuhas, a gay writer and columnist is an idiot! Perhaps he does not see the connection between legal same-sex marriages and the closet, but we do. If McGreevey was allowed to marry a man, if society had accepted such a marriage, perhaps the Gov would not be in the situation he is in. Instead society forced him to live an unreal reality for him. Society made it clear that only heterosexual relationships are normal.
Just check craigslist.org and you will see many gay men and women who must have closeted affairs with same-sex lovers behind their heterosexual partner's back. It is not right to have these affairs, but for some gay people the forces of society are stronger than they can bear. For some gay people, the forces of society make extramarital affairs the only escape they have in America to realize their true feelings. It is no surprise that McGreevey fell victim to society. His whole career and life is built on the status-quo government system that society has built. If anything, he is a victim on his own ambition.
Perhaps Steve Yuhas had a different experience than McGreevey growing up. Yuhas may have found it easier to accept his homosexuality than McGreevey did. Yuhas should not be so quick to pass judgement on McGreevey. McGreevey is part of a pretty signifigant underground population in the gay community. By coming out loudly, McGreevey may have opened the door for others in the underground gay community to come out also.
And, if anyone even listend to McGreevey's speech or read it, unlike Yuhas, they would know that he made clear that he is not resigning because he is gay.
Stuff it Yuhas!
Read the Yahoo, Yuhas
Monday, August 16, 2004
Even though she may be one of the ugliest closeted lesbian governors we have, you still have got to love Ruth Ann Minner. In a recent debate, she once again supported gay marriage and anti-discrimination laws that protect gays. One day, we hope, we will attend the wedding of her and that butch Chief of Staff that is always chasing her around. Oh, and could that Lt. Gov. next to her in the carriage be the maid of honor?
Friday, August 13, 2004
A closet case is often thought to be beyond help, even once he comes out. He's missed the boat. (He missed all the boats, for decades.)
Essay by Stuever
McGreevey Has Been Facing Other Political Problems.
Story by Powell and Garcia
It was clear that Jim McGreevey was getting ready to resign as governor, probably over some kind of corruption (hey, it's New Jersey, and his top fundraiser had been arrested for hiring prostitutes to entrap a witness).
Shamefully, I engaged in adult consensual affairs with another man, which violates my bonds of matrimony.
Via Washington Times
It was an extraordinary spectacle, one that bosses with a sense of history ordered their young assistants to watch on the television set in the office, one that caused a stunned, lingering silence in hospital waiting rooms and diners and malls.
Story by BARRON
Harassment suit may have led to decision.
New Jersey Gov. Being Blackmailed By Gay Lover Sources Say.
GAY ORG RESPONSES:
Coming out is a deeply personal journey and Governor McGreevey today showed enormous courage. We are hopeful that, like millions of other American families, Governor McGreevey and his family will come to a place of understanding.
The closet is a terrible place to be and Governor McGreevey's announcement today is another poignant reminder of that.
What separates great public officials from the rest is their responsiveness to the concerns of their constituents and the honesty with which they hold office.
NGLTF- Best Overall Response
Victory Fund- Most Effective, Political and Biting Response (their job)
HRC- Weak Response
Thursday, August 12, 2004
"Good afternoon. Throughout my life I have grappled with my own identity, who I am. As a young child, I often felt ambivalent about myself, in fact, confused.
"By virtue of my traditions, and my community, I worked hard to ensure that I was accepted as part of the traditional family of America. I married my first wife, Carrie, out of respect and love. And together, we have a wonderful, extraordinary daughter. Carrie then chose to return to British Columbia.
"I then had the blessing of marrying Dina, whose love and joy for life has been an incredible source of strength for me. And together, we have the most beautiful daughter.
"Yet, from my early days in school, until the present day, I acknowledged some feelings, a certain sense that separated me from others. But because of my resolve, and also thinking that I was doing the right thing, I forced what I thought was an acceptable reality onto myself, a reality which is layered and layered with all the, quote, good things, and all the, quote, right things of typical adolescent and adult behavior.
"Yet, at my most reflective, maybe even spiritual level, there were points in my life when I began to question what an acceptable reality really meant for me. Were there realities from which I was running? Which master was I trying to serve?
"I do not believe that God tortures any person simply for its own sake. I believe that God enables all things to work for the greater good. And this, the 47th year of my life, is arguably too late to have this discussion. But it is here, and it is now.
"At a point in every person's life, one has to look deeply into the mirror of one's soul and decide one's unique truth in the world, not as we may want to see it or hope to see it, but as it is.
"And so my truth is that I am a gay American. And I am blessed to live in the greatest nation with the tradition of civil liberties, the greatest tradition of civil liberties in the world, in a country which provides so much to its people.
"Yet because of the pain and suffering and anguish that I have caused to my beloved family, my parents, my wife, my friends, I would almost rather have this moment pass. For this is an intensely personal decision, and not one typically for the public domain.
"Yet, it cannot and should not pass. I am also here today because, shamefully, I engaged in an adult consensual affair with another man, which violates my bonds of matrimony. It was wrong. It was foolish. It was inexcusable. And for this, I ask the forgiveness and the grace of my wife. She has been extraordinary throughout this ordeal, and I am blessed by virtue of her love and strength.
"I realize the fact of this affair and my own sexuality, if kept secret, leaves me and, most importantly, the governor's office vulnerable to rumors, false allegations, and threats of disclosure. So I am removing these threats by telling you directly about my sexuality.
"Let me be clear: I accept total and full responsibility for my actions. However, I'm required to do now, to do what is right to correct the consequences of my actions and to be truthful to my loved ones, to my friends and my family and also to myself.
"It makes little difference that as governor I am gay. In fact, having the ability to truthfully set forth my identity might have enabled me to be more forthright in fulfilling and discharging my constitutional obligations.
"Given the circumstances surrounding the affair and its likely impact upon my family and my ability to govern, I have decided the right course of action is to resign. To facilitate a responsible transition, my resignation will be effective on November 15th of this year."
--Provided by advocate.com
“My truth is that I am a gay American,” McGreevey, a former prosecutor who has seen several political aides and fund-raisers accused of corruption, said at a televised news conference.
“Shamefully, I engaged in adult consensual affairs with another man, which violates my bonds of matrimony,” said McGreevey, the married father of two. “It was wrong. It was foolish. It was inexecusable.”
McGreevey said the disclosure and a pending legal action, which he did not specify, could pose a “threat” to the government. “I am removing these threats by telling you about my sexuality,” he said.
-NBC NEWS--First broke the story accurately!
Not just 'a gay American"...He is a proud and patriotic American!
He cited an extramarital homosexual affair.
Sen. Santorum angry that the world will now know his secret and the reason he is so obsessed with gay man sex!
No animals were reported involved. DAMN!
We missed this, but we don't really check their site that often. Our anger management counselor asks that we avoid it.
Believe it or not: HRC will make and effort to add Trans people to ENDA!
The Board of Directors voted to adopt the following resolution: "The Human Rights Campaign adopts a policy that we will only support ENDA if it is inclusive of sexual orientation and gender identity and expression."
PS- We promise to visit more often now...JUST DON'T FUCK UP!
The court declared that the marriages of gays and lesbians that resulted, more than 4,000, are void.
The newly announced speakers include Governor Mitt Romney, Lt. Gov. and 2004 Massachusetts delegate Kerry Healey, Nevada Attorney General and 2004 delegate Brian Sandoval, former New York City Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik, the Honorable Elaine Chao, Rep. Paul Ryan and Michael Reagan.
"Our latest group of program speakers demonstrates the broad appeal of President Bush's steady leadership," said RNC Chairman Ed Gillespie. "From the former police commissioner of New York City to President Reagan's eldest son, the convention program will showcase Americans' support for this president and his optimistic agenda for our nation."
Right Ed...(snore) If you even know who more than one of the above speakers are, you need to get a life...
So, finally Lesbians in the UK will have a reputable source to get their news from. But we ask, what about the gay men? We want our news with a bit of ass fucking as well. Just, please don't hire Al Roker. His antics are enough to handle already. We don't think we're ready for the jelly.
Homosexuality- The Party believes that the practice of sodomy tears at the fabric of society, contributesto the breakdown of the family unit, and leads to the spread of dangerous, communicable diseases. Homosexual behavior is contrary to the fundamental, unchanging truths that have been ordained by God, recognized by our country's founders, and shared by the majority ofTexans. Homosexuality must not be presented as an acceptable "alternative" lifestyle in our public education and policy, nor should "family" be redefined to include homosexual "couples." We are opposed to any granting of special legal entitlements, recognition,or privileges including, but not limited to, marriage between persons of the same sex, custody of children by homosexuals, homosexual partner insurance or retirement benefits. We oppose any criminal or civil penalties against those who oppose homosexuality out of faith, conviction, or belief in traditional values.
It's comforting to know that this is the same party that brought us POTUS.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
PS- We promise, our usual posting will resume tomorrow...(GET DOWN MONKEY!)
Friday, August 06, 2004
A German prisoner in Madrid and his girlfriend glued their hands together during a jail visit...
Ok, so it sounds kind of kinky. But come on, aren't there better places on the body to glue a hand to? I mean, he could have even dabbed a little glue on her lips and...When it comes right down to it though, are we really sure it's glue at all?
WARNING: YOU MAY HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED! If you are gay and lesbian and really believe hope is on the way, this message is for you: Kerry and Edwards Don't Give a Damn About Your Marriage Rights! Shocking, we know. In fact, Kerry and Edwards are just fine with what happened this week in Missouri. Well, thank god hope is on the way. Indeed, we hear that Kerry and Edwards are soon going to release a report outlining how racial segregation can be brought back state by state. Oh no, can't be though! This is the most gay friendly BLAH BLAH! Maybe you still have time to cancel that contribution.
Thursday, August 05, 2004
I suspect the president's play on fear ... will be successful at attracting some of these voters.
Bush trying to peel votes away from Kerry by going to places with conservative Dems. that have lost 20% of their manufacturing jobs. If that is his strategy, I am not too worried.
You just gave me a really great idea. Maybe it is the media that has us divided.
Perhaps it is not just Tom Ridge who is trying their best to divert attention away from the President's poor job performance. It seems that now Laura Bush is attempting to blame the media for polarizing the country. I don't know Laura. I thought the media was just doing its job. Who know. As they say: We Report, You Decide
The spending had been lopsided here, with supporters of gay marriage spending $450,000 to fight the measure with television advertising and polling, compared with $19,000 spent by opponents.
"Still, we were just a little bit out-organized," said Seth Kilbourn, national field director for the Human Rights Campaign, a Washington group that helped pay for the Missouri opposition. "We can't let that happen again."
Perhaps HRC will soon learn that the gay rights issue is simply not a matter that you can throw money at. It is a fight that you need to focus on changing hearts and minds to win. It is not something that you can just rely on courting big donors to win. Perhaps when they talk about being "organized" they will make sure that they are no longer just talking about getting some sugar daddies from down south to fill their pocketbooks. Maybe they are actually going to start taking community organizing and grassroots efforts seriously. Saul Alinsky anyone?
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Dashing any hopes that Lesbians have of the Bush name actually standing for something, Laura Bush condemned her daughter, Jenna's, clear desire to perform cunilingus on observing reporters a few weeks ago. Bush to daughter:
Maybe you should work on your issues of [lesbian] impulsiveness or something.
RIGHT! Or something...
Perhaps one reason HRC has a problem getting lawmakers to understand its message is because its vocabulary is so limited. It seems to "laud" and "condemn" all over the place, and at the same time accomplish absolutely nothing. On a good note, a judge in Washington State supports same-sex marriage.
HRC: Where art thee?
Washington Makes Progress...
Just when you thought you were in good hands, you find hands full of maggots! Yuck! Apparently doctors have become so afraid of medical malpractice lawsuits they all left their work. What's left? Hacks who believe in the art of maggots. Thanks John Edwards. This is what your fights for the little people have got us.
Yesterday, Missouri voters sent a clear message: We're a bunch of homophobes. In a crushing vote for gay rights, Missouri voters overwhelmingly decided to amend their constitution to ban same-sex marriage. Because telling loving adults that they cannot visit each other in the hospital in the event of a medical emergency is simply the Christian thing to do. God must be proud.
Missouri: Home of the Homophobe
Wonkette posted a job looking for a writer/love slave. And frankly who could blame her? If we could afford one ourselves, we would be having hot Latin bois running around our offices fanning us and feeding us grapes and other delights (use your imagination). Well, since Wonkette talks about ass fucking so much, we could not resist applying to be her love slave. How HOT! If we get the job, perhaps we'll keep bending over to get those pencils we (oops) just cannot seem to stop dropping. Here is her response to our application:
Thanks for applying. Hope remembered that the haiku structure is
5-7-5. Wonkette loves you, amc
And the call for applications:
Do you have a bad attitude and time on your hands? Wonkette seeks sulky D.C. area college students or recent graduates for part-time menial labor and reporting duties. Please send an email saying why you want the job and a haiku about Al Gore to mailto:email@example.com , with "love slave" in the subject line. NO RESUMES. Just impress me. . . with your brevity.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Good Lord! Billy Bob is heading to the ballot box today in Missouri and God is on his side. But while God is on Billy Bob's side in Missouri, I am sure our groups must be working doubly hard on our side to get the word out that an anti-gay marriage amendment being voted on today is bad news. Thank God they are not wasting our time kissing the asses of politicians who do not believe in gay marriage, right?
God, Are you There?
HRC On the Ball
NGLTF Cupping the Same Ball
Of course the recent terror threat is not political. As a matter of fact, Homeland Securty Dept. waited until after the Democratic Convention to tell us about an alert that is four years old (since, updated in January)! Yes Pundits, it is most certainly outrageous for Howard Dean to suggest this latest terror threat is a little political. (Pundits--LOOK INTO THE GLOWING CRYSTAL BALL: BELIEVE EVERYTHING THE GOVERNMENT TELLS YOU). Thanks for getting on top of this one Tom, in a timely fashion. Let me clue you into a few other security threats that you may also have missed:
1. George W. Bush is President of the United States
2. Al Qaeda pulled off an attack on the World Trade Center in NYC
3. You are Secretary of Homeland Security (but perhaps Karl Rove is your puppetmaster, HOT!)
4. The United States still has not caught Osama Bin Laden.
Thanks for being on top of things though, Tom! I have never felt safer or more used (except for that week when I had a sugar daddy).
AHHHHHH! FREAK OUT!
In yet another edict that proved how in touch the Catholic Church is with reality, the Pope signed-off on a document decrying feminism as the cause of damnation throughout the world. And we thought child molesting was bad. Now we have to worry about women with hairy armpits inappropriately touching our children and spreading their sin all over the place. At least we can rest assured that the Catholic Church is very in touch with the youth population. Alas, there is hope for the next generation.
FEMINISM: THE HORROR (whore)
It's good to see that Republicans really are showing a new level of maturity in this year's campaign. Their latest sign that they may be on the verge of sprouting some pubes is a recent email they sent out stating:
In millions of homes around the country, families, friends and neighbors will gather for the National Convention Watch Party - our third national party day - to hear the President speak and watch the balloons drop. You can be a part of this historic event by hosting a Convention Watch Party on Sept. 2.
Wow! You know you have a message when all you can do is send bratty emails: "Our balloons will drop and yours didn't!" Maybe when Bush speaks he'll put an "L" on his forehead and say, "I want to direct this message to John Kerry. " Yeah. Real smooth.
Party Like it's 2000
Monday, August 02, 2004
OK....so maybe he isn't on crack...but according to Capital Hill Blue Pres. Bush is taking "powerful anti-depressant drugs to control his erratic behavior, depression and paranoia." He began taking these "powerful" poppers after an incident where he stormed off the podium in front of media who were questioning his relationship with the former CEO of Enron. He was quoted as saying: “Keep those motherfuckers away from me! If you can’t, I’ll find someone who can.”
Who knows if it is true...but a fun story anyway! I know I really want some psycho leading MY country!
Bush on Drugs
As Larry Kramer would rename him, it seems that George "Adolf" Bush is finally realizing the uprising of hateful bigots he has been cultivating under the guise of the Federal ANTI-Marriage Amendment. A recent rash of high profile hate crimes after his endorsement of FMA provide some evidence that crosses bearing the words "I'm George W. Bush, and I approve this message" may soon be coming to a yard called yours! Some friends and families of the victims put direct blame on the FMA.
Read About the Rise of the Bush Terror Army in Alabama
More from His Home Base of Texas
Michael Phelps is naturally fast, but his coach explains how Phelps turbocharged
WE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TRY! THAT IS JUST HOT!
No longer do you have to buy porn in shame or spend your day at work searching for free porn sites. Who has delivered you from your sins? Well, Time magazine that's who. By releasing it's hot photo essay, "Stroke by Stroke", on Olympic swimmers, Time has made it a point to help you release yours, stroke by stroke. We are waiting to hear a response from Playgirl.
Take it Out and Do as Your Told...
The Polibois took a road trip to experience the city of brotherly love (something we Polibois know A LOT about, yet no one was up for a threesome with us). Here is what we learned this weekend:
-Philadelphia is really dirty and gross
-The subway is really dirty and gross and smells like urine (apparently that's where all the city's "golden opportunities" are for a shower)
-They do not believe in trash cans, yet their city is full of it (draw your own picture here)
-When you got to a gay club, you quickly learn that it is a city that has a crisis level shortage on mirrors
-Security to get through to see the liberty bell is tighter than any security in DC(just to see a stupid bell)
-Sarah Mclachlan is amazing in concert
-"Condom Kingdom" is the most amazing retail store in the world (The sprerm hanging from the ceiling was hot. We have not seen that much sperm hanging from a ceiling since...well...last night).
Visit the Condom Kingdom!!
To our shock and dismay... last night on the premier episode of "American Candidate" on Showtime, our favorite candidate, and fellow gay DCer Chrissy Gephardt was the first to be sent home - All because of that backstabbing Doris...oh how we hate you! This just goes to show what is truly wrong with politics today...even if it is fake politics! On a good note, at least now we don't have to watch the rest of the season! WE LOVE YOU CHRISSY!
On a side note, did anyone who happened to watch American Candidate get a chance to witness the nauseating character that is Keith Boykin? First of all this guy actually thought about voting off Chrissy so he could have a market on the gay vote. He made the right decision not to. His boifriend/"campaign manager" is the equivalent of a yipping chihuahua that you just want to kick the hell out of. And him and his boifriend are so in love that you just want to puke all over your own genitals in order to stop having any sexual thoughts so that you do not end up like them. I mean, the man started crying about their relationship like was a play on some tragic Shakespearean piece. Have his balls dropped yet? We do not want some whiney priss as our American Candidate. Vote him off, NOW!
Visit the Boykin...
On another note, has anyone noticed how gay the American Candidate show is? If the candidate was not gay, we think their campaign manager was. It was like Queer as Folk, but really really sad.