Friday, January 27, 2006

BREAKING NEWS: Clay Aiken is Gay!

That's right folks... the American Idol "almost" winner and teen heartthrob Clay Aiken is gay!

All i can say is: "well....DUH!"

Leave it to the National Enquirer to print a shockingly obvious story! NE's latest issues details Clay's affair with an ex-army ranger who claimes the two engaged in a late night hotel "romp" after talking online (Clay's sn was apparently "ValleyPrettyBoy"). Not only is he gay..he's also a slut: " within five minutes he started to feel my arms and put his hands on my leg...before I knew it, we were having unprotected sex."

So how do we know this is true? How can it be that our dear dear "straight" idol is gay? Mr. Army has the cum-rag(aka "DNA-encrusted washrag") to proove it! (no really, i'm not kidding...)

So i hope we have all learned a lesson here... when you are a flaming, blatant homosexual, make sure you take your DNA-encrusted washrag with you when you leave a shady motel in NC...or you might just be outed by the National Enquirer.

NY Daily News

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