Hope/Help is On the Way?

WARNING: YOU MAY HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED! If you are gay and lesbian and really believe hope is on the way, this message is for you: Kerry and Edwards Don't Give a Damn About Your Marriage Rights! Shocking, we know. In fact, Kerry and Edwards are just fine with what happened this week in Missouri. Well, thank god hope is on the way. Indeed, we hear that Kerry and Edwards are soon going to release a report outlining how racial segregation can be brought back state by state. Oh no, can't be though! This is the most gay friendly BLAH BLAH! Maybe you still have time to cancel that contribution.

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Emily Hates Gays! THAT BITCH.

Pro-Abortion group Emily's List, known for its homophobic leadership that models the latest Ann Taylor fashion, does not seem to mind endorsing anti-gay candidates. Especially those that write the gay community out of the Constitution. Indeed, they even considered endorsing David Duke one time, but he refused to get the necessary surgery.

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Say Goodbye Sweetie

I suspect the president's play on fear ... will be successful at attracting some of these voters.

Bush trying to peel votes away from Kerry by going to places with conservative Dems. that have lost 20% of their manufacturing jobs. If that is his strategy, I am not too worried.

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Picture Does Not Lie

It is apparent from this photo that Bush has hired Satan's spawns to do his dirty work. It is clear that this Bush supporter (woman on left of photo) needs an exorcism.

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Smell the Coffee Laura

You just gave me a really great idea. Maybe it is the media that has us divided.
-Laura Bush

Perhaps it is not just Tom Ridge who is trying their best to divert attention away from the President's poor job performance. It seems that now Laura Bush is attempting to blame the media for polarizing the country. I don't know Laura. I thought the media was just doing its job. Who know. As they say: We Report, You Decide

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Hey, HRC! Getting the Message, Yet?!

The spending had been lopsided here, with supporters of gay marriage spending $450,000 to fight the measure with television advertising and polling, compared with $19,000 spent by opponents.
"Still, we were just a little bit out-organized," said Seth Kilbourn, national field director for the Human Rights Campaign, a Washington group that helped pay for the Missouri opposition. "We can't let that happen again."

Perhaps HRC will soon learn that the gay rights issue is simply not a matter that you can throw money at. It is a fight that you need to focus on changing hearts and minds to win. It is not something that you can just rely on courting big donors to win. Perhaps when they talk about being "organized" they will make sure that they are no longer just talking about getting some sugar daddies from down south to fill their pocketbooks. Maybe they are actually going to start taking community organizing and grassroots efforts seriously. Saul Alinsky anyone?

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Laura Bush: Daughter is No Lesbian

Dashing any hopes that Lesbians have of the Bush name actually standing for something, Laura Bush condemned her daughter, Jenna's, clear desire to perform cunilingus on observing reporters a few weeks ago. Bush to daughter:

Maybe you should work on your issues of [lesbian] impulsiveness or something.

RIGHT! Or something...

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HRC: Get a Thesaurus

Perhaps one reason HRC has a problem getting lawmakers to understand its message is because its vocabulary is so limited. It seems to "laud" and "condemn" all over the place, and at the same time accomplish absolutely nothing. On a good note, a judge in Washington State supports same-sex marriage.

HRC: Where art thee?
Washington Makes Progress...

Medical Breakthrough?

Just when you thought you were in good hands, you find hands full of maggots! Yuck! Apparently doctors have become so afraid of medical malpractice lawsuits they all left their work. What's left? Hacks who believe in the art of maggots. Thanks John Edwards. This is what your fights for the little people have got us.

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Surprise, Surprise--Homophobes Exist in Missouri

Yesterday, Missouri voters sent a clear message: We're a bunch of homophobes. In a crushing vote for gay rights, Missouri voters overwhelmingly decided to amend their constitution to ban same-sex marriage. Because telling loving adults that they cannot visit each other in the hospital in the event of a medical emergency is simply the Christian thing to do. God must be proud.

Missouri: Home of the Homophobe

Wonkette Needs Writing Buddy with Benefits

Wonkette posted a job looking for a writer/love slave. And frankly who could blame her? If we could afford one ourselves, we would be having hot Latin bois running around our offices fanning us and feeding us grapes and other delights (use your imagination). Well, since Wonkette talks about ass fucking so much, we could not resist applying to be her love slave. How HOT! If we get the job, perhaps we'll keep bending over to get those pencils we (oops) just cannot seem to stop dropping. Here is her response to our application:

Thanks for applying. Hope remembered that the haiku structure is
5-7-5. Wonkette loves you, amc

And the call for applications:

Do you have a bad attitude and time on your hands? Wonkette seeks sulky D.C. area college students or recent graduates for part-time menial labor and reporting duties. Please send an email saying why you want the job and a haiku about Al Gore to mailto:totips@wonkette.com , with "love slave" in the subject line. NO RESUMES. Just impress me. . . with your brevity.

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Country Bumpkins Get Chance

Good Lord! Billy Bob is heading to the ballot box today in Missouri and God is on his side. But while God is on Billy Bob's side in Missouri, I am sure our groups must be working doubly hard on our side to get the word out that an anti-gay marriage amendment being voted on today is bad news. Thank God they are not wasting our time kissing the asses of politicians who do not believe in gay marriage, right?

God, Are you There?
HRC On the Ball
NGLTF Cupping the Same Ball

Anxious Nation Breaths Sigh of Relief

Of course the recent terror threat is not political. As a matter of fact, Homeland Securty Dept. waited until after the Democratic Convention to tell us about an alert that is four years old (since, updated in January)! Yes Pundits, it is most certainly outrageous for Howard Dean to suggest this latest terror threat is a little political. (Pundits--LOOK INTO THE GLOWING CRYSTAL BALL: BELIEVE EVERYTHING THE GOVERNMENT TELLS YOU). Thanks for getting on top of this one Tom, in a timely fashion. Let me clue you into a few other security threats that you may also have missed:
1. George W. Bush is President of the United States
2. Al Qaeda pulled off an attack on the World Trade Center in NYC
3. You are Secretary of Homeland Security (but perhaps Karl Rove is your puppetmaster, HOT!)
4. The United States still has not caught Osama Bin Laden.

Thanks for being on top of things though, Tom! I have never felt safer or more used (except for that week when I had a sugar daddy).

AHHHHHH! FREAK OUT!

And We Thought NAMBLA Was Good at Diversions

In yet another edict that proved how in touch the Catholic Church is with reality, the Pope signed-off on a document decrying feminism as the cause of damnation throughout the world. And we thought child molesting was bad. Now we have to worry about women with hairy armpits inappropriately touching our children and spreading their sin all over the place. At least we can rest assured that the Catholic Church is very in touch with the youth population. Alas, there is hope for the next generation.

FEMINISM: THE HORROR (whore)

Signs of Maturity from Republicans

It's good to see that Republicans really are showing a new level of maturity in this year's campaign. Their latest sign that they may be on the verge of sprouting some pubes is a recent email they sent out stating:

In millions of homes around the country, families, friends and neighbors will gather for the National Convention Watch Party - our third national party day - to hear the President speak and watch the balloons drop. You can be a part of this historic event by hosting a Convention Watch Party on Sept. 2.

Wow! You know you have a message when all you can do is send bratty emails: "Our balloons will drop and yours didn't!" Maybe when Bush speaks he'll put an "L" on his forehead and say, "I want to direct this message to John Kerry. " Yeah. Real smooth.

Party Like it's 2000

Commander in Chief on Crack!

OK....so maybe he isn't on crack...but according to Capital Hill Blue Pres. Bush is taking "powerful anti-depressant drugs to control his erratic behavior, depression and paranoia." He began taking these "powerful" poppers after an incident where he stormed off the podium in front of media who were questioning his relationship with the former CEO of Enron. He was quoted as saying: “Keep those motherfuckers away from me! If you can’t, I’ll find someone who can.”

Who knows if it is true...but a fun story anyway! I know I really want some psycho leading MY country!

Bush on Drugs

George "Adolf" Bush

As Larry Kramer would rename him, it seems that George "Adolf" Bush is finally realizing the uprising of hateful bigots he has been cultivating under the guise of the Federal ANTI-Marriage Amendment. A recent rash of high profile hate crimes after his endorsement of FMA provide some evidence that crosses bearing the words "I'm George W. Bush, and I approve this message" may soon be coming to a yard called yours! Some friends and families of the victims put direct blame on the FMA.
Read About the Rise of the Bush Terror Army in Alabama
More from His Home Base of Texas

Time Rag is sooooo HOT!

Michael Phelps is naturally fast, but his coach explains how Phelps turbocharged
his repertoire.

WE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TRY! THAT IS JUST HOT!

No longer do you have to buy porn in shame or spend your day at work searching for free porn sites. Who has delivered you from your sins? Well, Time magazine that's who. By releasing it's hot photo essay, "Stroke by Stroke", on Olympic swimmers, Time has made it a point to help you release yours, stroke by stroke. We are waiting to hear a response from Playgirl.
Take it Out and Do as Your Told...

Road Trip!

The Polibois took a road trip to experience the city of brotherly love (something we Polibois know A LOT about, yet no one was up for a threesome with us). Here is what we learned this weekend:
-Philadelphia is really dirty and gross
-The subway is really dirty and gross and smells like urine (apparently that's where all the city's "golden opportunities" are for a shower)
-They do not believe in trash cans, yet their city is full of it (draw your own picture here)
-When you got to a gay club, you quickly learn that it is a city that has a crisis level shortage on mirrors
-Security to get through to see the liberty bell is tighter than any security in DC(just to see a stupid bell)
-Sarah Mclachlan is amazing in concert
-"Condom Kingdom" is the most amazing retail store in the world (The sprerm hanging from the ceiling was hot. We have not seen that much sperm hanging from a ceiling since...well...last night).

Visit the Condom Kingdom!!

Poor Chrissy...

To our shock and dismay... last night on the premier episode of "American Candidate" on Showtime, our favorite candidate, and fellow gay DCer Chrissy Gephardt was the first to be sent home - All because of that backstabbing Doris...oh how we hate you! This just goes to show what is truly wrong with politics today...even if it is fake politics! On a good note, at least now we don't have to watch the rest of the season! WE LOVE YOU CHRISSY!

American Candidate:Boo...



On a side note, did anyone who happened to watch American Candidate get a chance to witness the nauseating character that is Keith Boykin? First of all this guy actually thought about voting off Chrissy so he could have a market on the gay vote. He made the right decision not to. His boifriend/"campaign manager" is the equivalent of a yipping chihuahua that you just want to kick the hell out of. And him and his boifriend are so in love that you just want to puke all over your own genitals in order to stop having any sexual thoughts so that you do not end up like them. I mean, the man started crying about their relationship like was a play on some tragic Shakespearean piece. Have his balls dropped yet? We do not want some whiney priss as our American Candidate. Vote him off, NOW!
Visit the Boykin...

On another note, has anyone noticed how gay the American Candidate show is? If the candidate was not gay, we think their campaign manager was. It was like Queer as Folk, but really really sad.