Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Anxious Nation Breaths Sigh of Relief


Of course the recent terror threat is not political. As a matter of fact, Homeland Securty Dept. waited until after the Democratic Convention to tell us about an alert that is four years old (since, updated in January)! Yes Pundits, it is most certainly outrageous for Howard Dean to suggest this latest terror threat is a little political. (Pundits--LOOK INTO THE GLOWING CRYSTAL BALL: BELIEVE EVERYTHING THE GOVERNMENT TELLS YOU). Thanks for getting on top of this one Tom, in a timely fashion. Let me clue you into a few other security threats that you may also have missed:
1. George W. Bush is President of the United States
2. Al Qaeda pulled off an attack on the World Trade Center in NYC
3. You are Secretary of Homeland Security (but perhaps Karl Rove is your puppetmaster, HOT!)
4. The United States still has not caught Osama Bin Laden.

Thanks for being on top of things though, Tom! I have never felt safer or more used (except for that week when I had a sugar daddy).

AHHHHHH! FREAK OUT!

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