Friday, April 22, 2005

Senator Brownback, Anti-Gay with Hott Gay Porn Name

Love ya Sammy!

Those who live outside the Beltway may not know it, but the District of Columbia is actually a colony of the United States. While the District has it's own form of elected government, the actual control of the colony lies with members of Congress. The District only has shadow representatives with no votes in Congress. Didn't we dress up as Native Americans and throw tea over boats in response to this type of government?

I recently became a member of the "no taxation without representation" colony of the United States. I am generally happy with life in the colony. The District is very gay friendly. Well, it's as friendly as our non-representatives allow it to be. Yesterday it was widely reported that Senator "Sammy" Brownback, (not a gay porn name), is threatening to withhold money from the District if it accepts same-sex marriage licenses from other states. Brownback, chair of the Senate Appropriations subcommittee on the District and a co-sponsor of the Federal Marriage Amendment, was responding to a report issued by the colony's Attorney General. The Attorney General issued a legal brief that same-sex couples married in other states could file joint tax returns in the colony.

For those of you used to representative government and who may now understandably be feeling a bit perplexed, let me sum this up for you: The District's elected officials issued a gay-friendly and legally sound ruling, non-colony-elected Republican officials from Kansas did not like the ruling, and so if the colony extends the legal rights same-sex couples deserve the people of the District could lose approval for their own budget from King Brownback of Kansas. Mind you, these are the tax dollars of citizens of the colony we are talking about.

But I guess we in the District should not worry, because in the end Republicans always support "state rights." Oh wait, silly me, I forgot...WE ARE A COLONY! I need some tea.


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